Jason's Rambo Review

So last night at around 11:00pm, I was sitting in a theater watching one monotonous movie trailer after another just waiting for Rambo to come onto the screen. I am not as familiar with the second two Rambo's as much as I am with the first one (which I just re-watched last week, it was awesome, I kinda wish I was reviewing it), but was still eager to see what Stallone had up his sleeve for this one. Rocky Balboa was a mild success, both in the box office and as a continuation of the Rocky series, so why should Rambo (just "Rambo") be any different?

I am just going to be blunt right off the bat. This movie is terrible. It just doesn't work on any conceivable level and (*spoilers* sorta), you spend most of the movie in boredom watching these persistent missionaries, whom you care nothing about, die as Rambo tries effortlessly to save them by destroying a whole battalion of Burmese psycho soldiers. Oh, and this all happens in the last ten minutes.

(No more spoilers)

Don't get me wrong, Rambo is still BA, (*spoiler* sorta, I lied before, but only in the last 30 minutes or so) but now he has taking the form of some massive HGH junkie that has spent most of his life after Rambo 3 living in Thailand as snake wrangler. This movie is just bogus. The plot is terrible, the characters are forgettable, and Rambo is just a shell of a man who now has an oddly grotesque face seemingly because he gets kicks out of shooting steroids into his cheeks.

I am a big fan of Stallone. I like that he does what he loves and continues to expand the movie series that mean the most to him. But where Rocky Balboa took the place of Rocky V and became a great ending to a great series, Rambo just becomes a meaningless echo in a Hollywood currently overloaded with crap.