So, it was late last night, I was having trouble sleeping (as I have been in the last few days) and what did I find on television but good ole’ Batman and Robin. Morbid curiosity took over me and I began to watch the film for the first time in years. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t have a great time doing so. Yes, this movie has been trashed to death and then some. It’s so ridiculously bad that it honestly doesn’t make sense. Many have declared it as not only being the worst movie superhero movie ever made but also literally the worst movie ever made. Period. To write a long article trashing the film would be too easy and, honestly, would take too much time. However, if you know just how awful the movie is going to be getting into it, it can be quite the fun experience. This movie is absolutely hilarious in every way. I had fun enduring all of Arnold’s horrible ice puns and watching Uma Thurman overact. So what I’m going to do for you guys is to give a list (and a great video here) of why not only Batman and Robin is a terrible superhero movie but a hysterical one:
-My favorite aspect: All of Mr. Freeze’s awful, awful ice puns. My favorites include: 1) “What killed the dinosaurs? The Ice Age!” 2) “Alright everyone, chill!” 3) “Cool party” and last but not least 4) “Let’s kick some ice!” (Oh what the hell, that doesn’t even make sense!)
-Those close-ups of crotches and buttocks of our heroes as they suit up. Um, what? Pervert.
-The infamous bat-nipples.
-That hilarious video of how Arnold becomes Mr. Freeze. Listen to the sounds he makes.
-Arnold’s acting ability / how he delivers every line of dialogue
-George Clooney’s complete lack of knowledge of what makes up Batman and his awful portrayal of the character thereafter.
-“Batman on ice” (question: why would Batman and Robin ever have ice skates built into their boots?)
-Batman and Robin surfing through the sky off of Mr. Freeze's rocket into a furnace.
-The fact that it is so easy to thaw everyone in the movie after they are frozen with little after-effects on the individual.
-Poison Ivy doing a seductive dance while dressed as a big gorilla.
-The ridiculous bidding war over Poison Ivy where Batman pulls out his own Batman themed credit card and exclaims, “Never leave the cave without it.”
-Bane re-imagined as a super skinny guy that is made huge by some kind of toxins.
-All the cartoon sound effects during the fight sequences.
-Commissioner Gordon’s hilarious delivery and exit afterwards of “Miss Ivy, you’ve just met one of the most sinister men in Gotham.”
-The “conflict” between Batman and Robin. Gotta love that dramatic shot of Robin yelling after Batman disables his bike and goes off to save the day.
-Jesse "The Body" Ventura cameoing as a guard in Arnold’s cell in Arkham.
-The fact that the villains jump over a hundred stories down from Arkham Aslyum into the waters below and survive.
-That cheap “Alfred is dying” subplot to try to get emotions stirred.
-All the horrible non-ice related puns that occur throughout the movie.
-The overly-colorful / “this was shot during a dance rave” lighting of the film.
-The fact that this movie was only made to capitalize on and sell toys and merchandise, something that is even referenced to by Poison Ivy herself.
Hey, I actually still have one of these. Crazy.
I still really cannot believe this movie was even made. It’s so insanely bad that it doesn’t even make sense. I can't believe I loved this thing as a kid. Yes, I ate this stuff up. I guess Schumacher did know what he was doing. Kids with no sense will love this movie. But yeah, it's bad. Real bad. However, after watching some of it again last night, I can’t wait to buy it on DVD. This movie is so bad it’s good. It’s hilarious. I can’t wait to re-watch this thing with a big group of people.
And yes, here's a video of director Joel Schumacher actually apologizing for the movie. Good stuff. You know it's bad when a director has to do this.
5 comments:
Wow...this movie really was bad...and Joel Schumacher is a terrible director. Just got done looking at his credits and the only one I would even consider watching again in a serious way would be Flatliners.
Hey man, Lost Boys was awesome. And Falling Down as well. He has some decent credits here and there but he really can't direct to save his life.
So i was curious to see if I could find any good, redeeming qualities about this movie, because, like Wesley, this movie sticks out in my mind so well from childhood. So i decided that maybe, just maybe, the soundtrack would be at the least bearable... Damn, was I wrong. There is actually a song by R. Kelly entitled "Gotham City". Damn. Just listen to the 30 second clip of it they have on Amazon. Who paid this guy to write a song and actually put it into a Batman movie? It just doesn't work at all. It sounds just like every other R. Kelly song, except he's singing about Gotham City. Wasn't expecting that, but I guess I should have seen it coming. And the rest of the soundtrack is.. well... it's like a blind man picked the rest of it from a list of awful 80s/90s music. Wow. This thing sucks.
And just as a sidenote, I really don't mind the soundtrack from Batman Forever. Granted, it's not the greatest soundtrack, but at least they put forth some effort. Plus, who doesn't love Seal's "Kiss from a Rose"? Every time I hear that song, it reminds me of the film. Soundtracks should all have that effect.
Sorry...I did overlook Lost Boys...but that's where it ends for me!
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