What I Learned from My Best Friend's Wedding

As stated in my article last Friday, I took a much needed break last weekend and went to Memphis, TN with some friends. We stayed at my friend Katye's house which was awesome. The best part of this house was that Katye had an amazing home theater system upstairs. On Saturday night, as the rest of my friends went to a formal (I wasn't invited to that; I was basically just tagging along for the weekend), Katye, my friend Kelly and I ate a lot of food and watched movies on the big screen. I made them watch The Goonies first. Later, we ended up catching one of my favorite movies Leon: The Professional on TV. After sitting through two of my movies, they ended up making me watch most of Julia Roberts' chick flick My Best Friend's Wedding. Normally, I would never watch a movie like this. However, since they watched two of my movies, I decided to sit through one of theirs.

Honestly, I cannot say much for this movie. It was incredibly cliche and cheesy. I'm not completely against the notion of a romantic comedy. I think that it actually can be done right. I actually own When Harry Met Sally (though I have it pretty hidden from the rest of my movies). This movie, on the other hand, was too over-the-top and manipulative. I even had an incredibly unrealistic and embarrassing musical number that took place in the middle of lunch in a restaurant (if you hate yourself, you can watch a video it below). Also, why is Julia Roberts in these movies? I don't find her attractive at all and, from what I hear, she's a complete b*tch in real life (Spielberg hated her so much that he cut a lot of her scenes down in Hook). I don't know who in Hollywood is obsessed with this woman but she's not that great of an actress, she's not pretty and she sucks as a person. Let her go.

Still, I learned some things. At least, I think I did. When we started watching the movie, Katye and Kelly told me to pay attention because I would learn a lot about women in this movie.  I've been having a lot of problems with women lately (actually, I cannot think of a time when I haven't had trouble with women) and they told me that this movie would help me out. So, after sitting through this cliched mess, what did I learn?

I learned that women are completely insane.

Really. What the crap is up with you people? In this movie, Julia Roberts' character decides that she loves her best friend right when he gets engaged after basically leading him on for like nine years. So now that he's finally moved on and has found someone else that makes him happy (and someone that is much hotter than the fugly Roberts) she decides to come in, tell him that she loves him and then kiss him on the mouth. Um, what? You can't do that. That's not even romantic. It's just cruel. What a way to screw with a guy's mind. 

But they do this. No, I've never had this actual situation happen to me in any way but I have experienced it in other ways. They'll lead you on for six months and then go, "Oh, you know Jack from math class? I think he's cute." Um, what? What the hell? Or they'll stop acting like they are interested and then the moment you show any interest for someone else they'll get all jealous and say that they're not good enough for you or that you'll never pull it off. What the hell...

While watching this movie, every girl that came into the room seemed to identify with it. They all seemed to agree with Robert's character's plight. What B.S. Even Katye and Kelly admitted that women are all crazy. And they are women. 

So, in conclusion, after watching this movie, I've decided that it is probably in my best interest to go back to being asexual. It's definitely safer than what I've been doing... that's for sure.