So G.I. Joe Is Going to Be Unwatchable

There's been a lot going around on the Internet lately about the status of the upcoming G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. It looks terrible and, according to pretty much all counts, it is terrible. But, "How terrible is it, Wesley?" you may be asking. Well, apparently, this "movie" is so awful that hack director Stephen Sommers has been fired from the project and locked out of the editing room.

Here's the original rumor via Filmdrunk:

"After a test screening wherein the film tested the lowest score ever from an audience in the history of Paramount, the executive who pushed for the movie, Brad Weston, had Stephen Sommers, the super hack director fired. Removed. Locked out of the editing room.

Stuart Baird, a renowned “fixer” editor was brought it to try to see if it could be made releasable. Meanwhile producer Lorenzo [di Bonaventura] whose turkey IMAGINE THAT explodes this weekend as the new bomb in theatres (also championed by Weston) was told his services were no longer needed on the film either.

Hasbro CEO Brian Goldner, who turned down other offers from the property to go with the script that was rushed in 8 weeks by Stuart Beattie because of the writer’s strike is frantic that this will destroy the brand and is distancing himself from the pending catastrophe.

NONE of this needed to happen, except someone who did not know the mythology, Lorenzo was in charge of the film and never contradicted Sommers on anything. Lorenzo, was Chairman of Warners and had GI JOE under option there (not as a producer) for SEVEN years and he refused to greenlight the film, stating that because he grew up in Italy he had no knowledge of it. If you google enough, at one point you will see he wanted the film to be about an action hero named MANN (Action Man, get it) and he clearly had no clue what the GI Joe world really was."

Since all this hit the Internet, producer di Bonaventura has fired back, saying that none of it is true. However, many bloggers believe that this is just damage control on di Bonaventura's part. I'm not sure how much of it is true but I do know a few things. First off, Stephen Sommers is a terrible director. The Mummy Returns was bad and Van Helsing was just insulting. I cannot see his vision of G.I. Joe, a nostalgic Saturday morning cartoon from the 80's, being much of an improvement over all the crap he has been churning out beforehand. Second, the movie just looks awful. And I mean awful. Have you guys seen the trailer for this thing? Here, let me repost it here just to jar your memories.

Did you guys watch that? It was was terrible, right? Almost to a sickening level. Regardless of whether this rumor is true or not, this movie is pretty much doomed. I'm pretty convinced that there is no way of savaging it on any level possible. At this point, I'd rather see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen than this. And, as you all I know, I freaking hated Transformers and despise Michael Bay. Still, from the looks of things, those two are better than Stephen Sommers' G.I. Joe.

Source: Filmdrunk