Saturday, January 31, 2009

G.I. Joe Looks As Silly As You Would Think

The 30 second SuperBowl television spot for G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra (do we really need a subtitle?) hit the web earlier today and it seems to have fooled a lot of people. Well not me.


This movie is going to suck. A lot. Why? It's freaking G.I. Joe but live action. It's directed by the guy who directed movies like The Mummy and Van Helsing (*shudder*). It's starring that guy who was in movies like Step Up and Stop Loss. I hear Brendan Fraser has a cameo. Marlon Wayans is Ripcord (I still can't get over this). There's a part in the trailer where it appears that the Eiffel Tower is destroyed by killer plants (that or green acid... but I like to think that this movie is stupid enough to employ killer plants). The word from everyone who has seen early rough cuts of the film seems to be pointing to it being a complete and utter train wreck. 

Need any more reasons?

I will admit that this trailer is more well-cut than I expected it to be. Still, it points to the movie being a CGI-loaded cheese-fest. It's going to suck. Trust me. It really, really will. The only cool thing about it is the fact that Ray Park is Snake Eyes (who looks cool) and Joseph Gordon-Levitt (someone who is way too talented for this project) is Cobra Commander. These two positive things will not be able to remotely save it. Let's face it- this movie is going to be like Transformers' retarded step-cousin. And I hated Transformers.

I'll see this the week it comes out if I hate myself and want to laugh at a major studio like Paramount wasting millions of dollars on a cinematic train wreck. G.I. Joe is cool and all but let's face it- it's not really movie material. Especially from the guy who made Van Helsing.

Watch the 30-second spot below or see it tomorrow during the SuperBowl.

1 comments:

Austin said...

Haha, I just about peed myself laughing. Part of myself really wants to hate them for touching on GI Joe and messing with it, but the other half thinks its just too funny not to be entertaining.