Sunday, September 28, 2008

Scarlett and Ryan Tie the Knot

WTF?

That's right ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Scarlett Johansson and the less-than-spectacular Ryan Reynolds got married in Vancouver over the weekend.  Johansson, who remains one of the most beautiful specimens ever created by God and a favorite here at YDKS, has clearly made the biggest mistake of her life.  First of all, she could have chosen this guy:


But seriously, what is she thinking?  Scarlett is flawless.  She's been in less than magnificent movies before, but quite honestly, it doesn't matter.  I'd watch The Island any day just to see her in that white jumpsuit thing.  She's like an angel, a breath of fresh air, and now she's Mrs. Ryan Reynolds.  Van Wilder.  That guy from Smokin' Aces.  It's like a bad nightmare.


  
There's the face of the man we've all lost out to.  Right now, he's probably propped back on his big leather couch, watching Blade Trinity and talking to himself about how it was awesome to kill vampires.  And Scarlett is getting out of the shower and calling him to bed.  Dammit.  What is the world coming to?

Mourn with me, movie fans.  Newman is gone.  And in a way, so is Scarlett.
 

4 comments:

Wesley said...

It's good to see you post again, Zach.

I'm glad you put that picture of me up. It makes me happy. Yes, she is missing out. She's missing out big time.

I hate Ryan Reynolds now. It's officially.

Overall, this is terrible news. However, I enjoyed reading your post.

And as far as Scarlett goes, she'll always serve as the wallpaper for my computer. No matter what.

Jason said...

Simple and elegant post my friend. Plus, Wesley is way hotter than Van.

Gin said...

My daughter once had a stuffed dog named Wesley. His original name was Doofus which she thought was rude. I have no idea why she thought Wesley was a change for the better. Unrelated information? I think not.

Anonymous said...

You my dear sir are an idiot. Ryan is 6'2" tall. Ryan is funny. Ryan has a banging body. You obviously don't know women.
http://blogs.nypost.com/popwrap/photos/ryan-reynolds-1.jpg