Current Events: I May Have A Cavity

You don't know me very well (unless your name is Wesley. I will return your phone call soon, I promise), but I plan to change that just a little today. I hate cavities. I do everything in my power to keep from getting them. I am willing to do the extra work now i.e. brush my teeth constantly, so I will never have to see the dentist and expect painful results i.e. getting a cavity filled. I have my undergrad in Business Administration, and those same principles above apply to my retirement plan. It is just the way I think. So what is the point of toothpaste and worry and brushing if I am just going to get a cavity anyway? I will never know. I sit here constantly wondering if I should go to the dentist only to talk my self out of it and simultaneously concoct theories as to why my tooth hurts when I eat. It has worked so far, and a visit to my nearest masochist is a long ways off.

So, there. You know a little about me now. And in lieu of my current circumstances, the fact that every one's favorite holiday is just around the corner, and the fact that tooth pain is one of the perennial fears of the human psyche, I thought it only appropriate that we should explore some dental torture. Below are my Top 5 Dental Torture Scenes.



The Dentist (The Whole Movie)

If you like going to the dentist, I am sure you need help. I am also sure many people stopped going all together after this little gem of a torture movie came out. I haven't seen this in quite some time, but I remember my mom being just absolutely terrified at the thought of ever watching it again. Sure, this is THE obvious pick, but this movie manages to play on some of our deepest fears as food-loving human beings. Check out the video here.



Marathon Man (Is it safe?)

I haven't seen this movie completely, but I have seen the infamous Is it safe? scene. And the fact that I may have a cavity makes this scene incredibly personal for me. One of the things keeping me from going to the dentist is the metal hook I know the dentist will inevitably use to poke and prod all the holes in my teeth. After watching this scene, I have been contemplating never going to the dentist again. Check out the video here.



Oldboy (Toothless Security)

Oldboy is one of the most diabolical revenge movies I have ever seen. But the tooth pulling scene after Oh Dae-su makes his escape has haunted my dreams ever since I watched it. Using the split-edge side of a hammer, Oh Dae-su pulls out fifteen teeth from a helpless security guard. One for every year he was in captivity. The close up of the split-edge surrounding the tooth and the cut to Oh Dae-su as he twists, pulls, and rotates the handle of the hammer is almost too much for me to handle. Check out the video here.



Cast Away (Self-Surgery)

When I first watched Cast Away, I knew that when Tom's tooth started hurting, that he was going to do something about it. I just didn't know it was going to be so horrifying. The man is a beast, and I could have never extracted a tooth from my own mouth in the same way portrayed in this movie. I have only seen this scene once, because I have turned my head upon every subsequent viewing. Check out the video here.



American History X (The Curb)

Confession: I have never seen American History X. But I always knew about the curb scene. So this morning, mere minutes ago, I watched it. When his teeth touched the curb, I lost it. And now, I won't be able to sleep tonight. Check out the video here.