Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Star Wars: Clone Wars is Going to be God Awful

The other day I wrote an article entitled George Lucas is a Sadist (to which Jason wrote a slight rebuttal to) but seems to appear that Lucas is continuing down on that path.


If you didn't know (after all, I've seen about zero publicity for this film), the completely computer-generated (in other words, Lucas' biggest fantasy) Star Wars: The Clone Wars comes out this Friday to theaters. Honestly, I haven't talked to anyone that is actually excited about or planning to go see this piece of crap. Really, is anyone out there still interested in Star Wars? Anyone? 

Anyways, it turns out this thing is going to be a lot worse than originally expected. Right now, it has a rotten rating of 44% on Rotten Tomatoes (which is worse than any of the prequels) and is getting some pretty harsh early reviews from all around the net.

Of course, Lucasfilm is being awesome and forcing the negative reviews to be taken down but is conveniently leaving the few positive reviews up. What the crap, man? 

Apparently, the biggest stink about the movie is a new character called Zero the Hutt, which is Jabba the Hut's purple, gay uncle that wears a peacock feather and for some reason speaks English (instead of Hutt-ese). No... really, I'm not making any of that up: Jabba the Hutt has a gay uncle named Zero that speaks English in a Truman Capote accent. Read the article on the creation of the character on Filmdrunk here, along with their recap of Harry Knowles' very negative (and geek language filled) review here.

This character sounds like, and is supposed to be, worse than Jar-Jar Binks. Who knew that was possible? This movie really sounds like it's a completely trainwreck of bad ideas. Who knew that this could end up worse than the prequels? Well, apparently, it can.

I really feel bad for the people that continue to defend George Lucas. I simply don't understand how you can still do that by this point. It's pretty much impossible. The man has completely lost it. He makes nothing but terrible films, seems only concerned with the marketing aspects of Star Wars (i.e. making money), and has no apologies for all of it. He really just doesn't care. That's the main thing for me: he doesn't care about the fans that made him successful. He doesn't care about raping your childhood. In fact, he looks forward to continuing to rape it.

If this movie somehow bumps The Dark Knight from the number spot in the box office, I'm going to lose it (note: originally I was going to put down that I would blow up a hospital but then I began to fear that the one guy who hadn't seen The Dark Knight would read that and report me...so... edited version).

Update: This movie is now at a terrible 24% percent on Rotten Tomatoes, furthering my point.

8 comments:

movie_fan225 said...

True, he has lost it. But don't go so far as to bash him completely. The man's just lost his once-great touch. Not that I'm defending his current ideas, if you can even call them that. Baby vomit is more entertaining and captivating than anything he's done in the last couple of years. But still, he has just really fallen apart. The man's a genius gone wrong, is all.

Wesley said...

He hasn't fallen apart. He's sold out. I can bash him if I want to.

movie_fan225 said...

Sold out to who? I have no problems with saying he's losing it-- he has-- but what has he sold out to?

Wesley said...

Lucas only makes films for a buck these days. Every Star Wars film he makes these days (with the except of Episode III) is more kiddie friendly (especially in the case of Episode I) and is generated to sell lots of toys and merchandise. Everyone knows how harsh Lucasfilm is not only with their prices and sells but with their restrictions. Post a rumor about a Star Wars film and they'll strike you down. Post a negative review and they'll strike you down...

I'm getting sidetracked. The fact is, Lucas doesn't really care about the fans anymore. He just write his crappy films to further his fortune. In fact, he actually believes that he's better than everyone else and has no apologies for it. It's just really hard to like a guy like this. Read the link below to further see why I think the guy's not only a sell out but a jerk off that doesn't deserve any of my respect.

http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/07/28/george-lucas-talks-indiana-jones-5-spielbergs-nostalgia-compares-fans-to-holy-ghost/

movie_fan225 said...

All I'm saying is, the man was once great and did amazing work, but he's gone down the crapper. I'm not trying to defend his piss-poor attempts at film these days. I just think we need to give credit to the man for even having fans to piss off in the first place. As big as his fan base is these days, it's no wonder the man has made enemies. So what if he wants to take films in a different direction or revamp them? Granted, that direction is paved with disappointment, but it's chance-taking nonetheless. He wouldn't be in the position he's in now if he hadn't tried something new back in the 70s. Sure he may have "sold out" or whatever you want to call it, but he's trying something new, and whether it's good or not, the man kinda deserves that right, don't ya think? I think his attitude is way off-base, yes, and I think he should be looking for more feedback, but if a man as powerful and successful in the film industry as George Lucas wants to try something... dammit, let's let him try it. Some people obviously seem to enjoy it. My 8-year-old nephew can't get enough of the crap. After all, Star Wars wasn't created to please 30-year-old sci-fi addicts. It was created for kids. Today's kid society loves cheesy dialogue and over-the-top characters and cartoon-y... well, everything. So don't you see where I'm coming from? OBVIOUSLY he's not going to please those people who grew up on Star Wars. They GREW UP after all. I think we should let a whole new generation enjoy a series directed at them. Not saying we'll enjoy it. But they probably will. That's all I'm saying...

Wesley said...

I don't think they should be able to enjoy the new Star Wars films. Why? Because they are terrible. They are being deprived of growing up with the great Star Wars we grew up with because they are being exposed to this new, vastly inferior one first. It is sickening.

And as far as Lucas goes for all the great stuff he did in the past... well, let's think about it: what exactly did he do? Really... now, bare with me here: he wrote and directed Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope. And yeah, that was great, it really was. Now, he came with the STORY for Star Wars: Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back and Star Wars: Episode VI: Return of the Jedi. That's right, he did not direct or WRITE the screenplays for those films. Lawrence Kasdan wrote the screenplay for Empire, which is considered by many to be the best of the Star Wars films. As far as Indiana Jones goes, Lucas once again came up with the STORY for Raiders, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade. Much like in the case of Empire, Lawrence Kasdan wrote the screenplay for Raiders, which is considered the best Indiana Jones film by most. As we all know, Steven Spielberg directed all the Indy films.

So, when you really think about it, Lucas didn't really do that much. But he definitely gets all the credit.

movie_fan225 said...

Well I'm obviously not going to sway your thinking. But like I said, the new Star Wars stuff is very popular with the kids. I know from experience. Sure, I can agree that it's inferior to the stuff we grew up on, but cmon... What CAN compare to that? I don't understand why kids find it so appealing, but they do, and that's a fact. Lucas's fan base isn't grown-ups... it's kids. He aims to please audiences at or below the age of 18 at most. It was the case in the 70's, and it's the case today. I don't like it, but at least he's staying true to who his original fan base was directed towards and not to the people who have followed it for going-on 30 years now. And all the stuff about directors/writers/whatever... First off, damn it's sad that you know all that stuff haha but that aside, I don't care that he "didn't really do that much". He started it all, didn't he? It wouldn't exist except from his imagination. I fully think he deserves all the credit. It would be like you coming up with and writing down an entire saga of stories, and me directing it, and then me getting all the credit for the entire thing... How fair is that? It was totally your idea that I just put into film. I think that the man is arrogant and cocky, definitely, but he's become successful for a reason, and that's because he's the creator. Maybe not always director or screenplay writer, but he created the saga. That's all I can say. Yes, just like you, I'm pissed off that he couldn't waver on the Indy film and that the new Star Wars are all kiddy and primitive, but they sell with kids, and that's what it's all about. Too much weight is put on his ability to please Star Wars junkies, and that's just silly. Kids make up a much bigger population than Star Wars followers, and that's his target audience with all of his movies, so I see no crime in his not staying true to the movies that were made 30+ years ago. But the main point I want to make is this... What difference does it make? He's just a man trying to earn a living. Do I think it's right that he makes millions off of a film he put barely any his own personal effort or time into? No, but that's a whole different argument entirely. He's just making and selling movies. That's all there is to it. And the kids eat up even the new crappy Star Wars stuff. If I was in his shoes, I'd be doing the same thing. Maybe not in such a boastful and self-centered way, but whatever. That's just me. He's just a man coming up with ideas that he enjoys and putting them into film. Kudos to him for even taking that risk. As a filmmaker, I think you should be sympathetic to the guy for having the guts to continue trying after being publicly bashed so much lately. He has huuuge shoes to fill compared to his past endeavors, and there will always be a group of people that don't like the way he runs things. But numbers don't lie. His films are still successful, regardless of our thoughts on them.

Wesley said...

"but they sell with kids"- key word there is sell. No, I don't respect him as a filmmaker. I used to but I don't any more because it's obvious that he really doesn't care how things turn out. It is also obvious that he does not put his heart and soul into his project. It's obvious that he doesn't have a vision anymore for what he is doing. It's hard for me to respect someone like that when there are many more hard working filmmakers out there not making any money with a much stronger passion and vision for filmmaking than Lucas ever had.

But that's just me. I'm not budging from my position. It's just how I feel. You seem to feel the same about your position. So let's just leave it at that.