Summer Movies So Far: Part II

At the end of June last year, we were all blessed enough to have watched such classics as Spider-Man 3, Lucky You, Delta Farce, Georgia Rule, The Ex, The Salon, Shrek the Third, Mr. Brooks, Hostel: Part II, Fantastic Four 2, and Evan Almighty.

Did you see a pattern? Because all of those movies have at least one thing in common?

They all sucked.

Between the sun baked piles of crap however, we did get little rays of hope that Hollywood wasn't completely screwed (even if some rays shined brighter than others) in the form of Once, Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End, Knocked Up, Live Free or Die Hard, and Ratatouille, with only the latter two being June releases. So let's see how this year's June compares to last's.

June 6

Israeli face-kicking assassins vs fat, lovable face-kicking bears...*Ding*

Kung Fu Panda


Kung Fu Panda was yet another typical Dreamworks release with a star studded voice cast. And, although some of the fight scenes let you geek out because of how true they stay to the Kung Fu Spirit, the story is ultimately bogged down with the cliche moral of believing in yourself and lack of character development outside the Panda species. However, the world liked getting kicked in the face as Kung Fu Panda has so far made approximately $195 million domestically and a total of $349 million worldwide, making it one of the summer's biggest hits.


You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Didn't see it. Let's skip to the next one


July 13

Friday the 13th gave us two awesome monster movies. They are both green, they both want to make you kill yourself, one is a skinny white guy with a disease, and the other is an egotistical skinny guy from ind...oops, I don't want to give away the twist.

The Incredible Hulk


Ok, maybe I was a little too hard on the Incredible Hulk up there, and I was really just thinking about the first version. Maybe this is the version that makes you roll your eyes so violently that you headbutt the person sitting next to you. This was still not the Hulk movie I wanted. I don't know what it is, but sweeping shots and cheesy references to the comics just don't do it for me. It wasn't all bad though. We got to see a six-pack air-brushed onto Tim Roth's saggy man body. Still, the Incredible Hulk was not a total abomination. So far it has grossed $126 million domestically and $221 million worldwide. But it has not been able to Hulk smash its way past Ang Lee's 2003 version which garnered a $132 million domestic gross and a worldwide total of $245 million.


The Happening



*Spoiler Warning*

This movie is stupid.

*End Spoilers*

"Hey, what's happening man?" can no longer be said without a "tee-hee" girl giggle following immediately afterwards. Seriously, this movie is bad. Like 3 out of 10 bad. Put the Happening down as the funniest movie of the year in my book. The actors on screen may have been emotionless, but I laughed hysterically throughout most of the plant rampage. The Happening did happen to make a little money, covering its $60 million budget domestically and racking up $73 million in change from foreign markets for a worldwide total of $133 million.


June 20

I was actually dumb enough to see one of these releases...

Get Smart


I just watched this one today, and I was sorely dissapointed. I know the TV show was a little goofy, but this just took it to another level. There were about 3 scenes where I laughed, the action scenes were half-hearted, conversations were forced, there was absolutely no comedic timing, and it just goes on from there. Also, apparently only secret agents can use live power lines as rope to swing across buildings and terrorists can call the Vice President in the War Room by going through the automated Homeland Security Threat Hotline. The world would be a lot better off if terrorists would just call first. $101 million domestically and $135 million total worldwide.


The Love Guru

Obviously this is the one I wasn't dumb enough to watch.


June 27

WALL-E


The only thing that needs to be said is that this is the best computer animated movie ever made. Yeah I said it Shrek! WALL-E has scooped up a massive pile domestically with $136 million so far while foreign markets wait anxiously to add to the skyscraper tower.



Wanted


Wanted, I admit, had some guts going up against WALL-E. And it payed off. Making $50 million its opening weekend, Wanted has since bullet-curve assassinated its way to $95 million domestically and $159 million worldwide.



Well, that's it for June. Only two more months to go before the summer season is officially over, and July is looking to be the best month ever!



All movie grosses courtesy of Box Office Mojo.