The Top Ten Beat Downs in Film, Part 1

After such countdowns like “Movies That Made Me Cry Like A Little Girl,” I figured it was time to get a little macho here at YDKS. With that in mind, I am proud to present to you guys the top ten beat downs in film. You may be asking yourself, what consists of a beat down? Well, it’s really hard to say. Sometimes, it’s just a really one-sided fight where one person completely dominates the other in every way. Other times, it’s a fight where both get equal shots in… but they just literally beat the crap out of each other. Sometimes, a punch is not even thrown. As you go through this list, you will see all the different kinds of beat downs that the lovely media of film can offer and all the people that did their best to get the crap knocked out of themselves on film. Since I’m working a lot this week, I decided to cut this list in two to make things easier for myself. So with that in mind, get ready to inject those steroids, drink a Red Bull, and turn on some AC/DC. It’s time for some beat downs.

10. Frank Gives a Chokehold- Scent of a Woman

Like I said, sometimes a punch doesn’t even need to be thrown for a beat down to occur. Sometimes, all you need is a chokehold. When I think of Scent of a Woman, I normally don’t think of a beat down. But, as I was brainstorming the other day for this list, this scene kept coming back to me. When Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade (Al Pacino in an Oscar winning performance) and his guide Charlie Simms give Frank’s estranged family a surprise visit on Thanksgiving, things tend to get a little awkward and tense. Things only get worse when Thanksgiving dinner starts and Frank is his usual offensive self. Finally, Frank’s snot nosed nephew Randy has enough and gives him one of the worst verbal beat downs on film. However, Frank keeps his cool right until Randy refers to Charlie as “Chuck,” something Frank warned him not to do. After this, Frank proceeds to grab the guy by the throat, slam him against the wall, and demonstrates that he could easily crush his windpipe without much strain. I don’t know about you guys, but I consider that a beat down on many different levels.

9. Dracula Destroys a Police Force- The Monster Squad

*Note: Start this clip at 0:47 for the start of this sequence*

Duncan Regehr’s portrayal of Dracula in 1987’s cult classic The Monster Squad is one of the most badass and evil portrayals of the infamous blood sucker that I’ve ever seen. Dracula just doesn’t mess around in this film. You screw with his plans for world domination and he’ll throw some dynamite in your tree house. Killing children doesn’t even faze him. Plus, he spouts out awesome one-liners such as “Meeting adjourned” after blowing up the tree house. I love this guy. However, Dracula’s badass nature is never shown better than in the moment when he single handedly kicks the crap out of an entire police force without even breaking his focus from Phoebe and the amulet. Seriously, how awesome is this scene? He never seems to break a sweat, continuing to look forward and continuously walking. Director Fred Dekker manages to play up the awesome nature of this scene even more by filming it all in a continuous tracking shot. Now that’s what I call a beat down. 

8. A Gun Always Beats a Sword- Raiders of the Lost Ark

The story behind this sequence is actually pretty awesome. Apparently Indiana Jones was supposed to have an epic sword fight with this swordsman but Harrison Ford was really sick that day so he just asked Spielberg if it would be cool if he could just shoot the guy after the big set up. Because of that, we not only have a great gag but a truly classic scene. Really, how awesome is this scene? I don’t know about you, but I was thinking, “Oh man, how’s Indy going to fight this guy with a sword? This is going to be epic.” Then, he just pulls out a gun and shoots the guy. It’s one of those scenes that really defined the character of Indiana Jones. I love it. Plus, it’s just such an awesome beat down. That guy got rocked so hard.

7. He Put That Guy’s Nose Through His Brain- A History of Violence

Note: Start this clip at 2:00 for the beginning of this sequence*

The first time I saw this scene, it pretty much blew my mind because I just wasn’t expecting it. Through the movie up until this point, you’re starting to believe that maybe there’s something different about Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen). Maybe he really isn’t the man he says he is. Maybe he actually is actually an ex-mafioso named Joey. After all, Carl Fogarty (Ed Harris in an awesome performance) seems convinced so. Finally, it comes down to this show down with Fogarty and his thugs. And what does the mild mannered Tom Stall do? Well, he breaks one of the thug’s arms and then uses his hand to drive the poor sap’s nose through his brain. Holy crap. Did that just happen? Yes, it did. Talk about getting owned bad. I actually remember shuddering when this happened in the theater. I saw this with Caleb and my friend Max when we were at Universal Studios in Orland, FL. For the remaining trip, we would turn to each other and say, “Pull your gun on me!” and re-enact this scene (of course, without the actual driving of the nose into the brain). You see what you did to us, Cronenberg! Because of this movie, there are probably tons of youngsters out there trying to drive noses back into the brain. Still… man… this is quite the beat down.

6. I Am Jack’s Smirking Sense of Revenge- Fight Club

In this scene, Jack (Edward Norton) basically just beats the crap out of himself in his boss’ office in order to black mail him. I don’t really have much to say about it other than it’s simply brilliant. The fact that Norton keeps talking to his boss as if he is the one that is actually doing all the beating is not only hilarious but makes the sequence even more insane and surreal than it already is. And when I say that Norton kicks the crap out of himself… he kicks the crap out of himself. My favorite part is when he throws himself back into that big shelf. Plus, having the broken glass embedded in his hands when he’s crawling towards the boss was a nice touch. This is the only beat down on this list where the beating comes the same guy that is taking the beating. Still, it’s a classic scene.

So what do you guys think so far? What do you think is coming up for the top 5? Any suggestions (even though I already have the list compiled)?

Part 2 Coming Soon.